Hey guys! Today I am sharing my story. It’s not an easy thing to share with people but I have been getting better. I hope it will help someone out there.
Jeremiah 17:14 “O LORD, if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!”
I’ve always gone to church (literally since I was 10 days old) , & I became a follower of Christ when I was young. I was baptized when I was 8 and truly desired a relationship with God. I was that kid that seemed to have a perfect life; I came from a “perfect” home & was involved in every activity I could. Life was smooth sailing as a kid.
However, when I was about 11 I began to have problems with my ankles. At the age of 12/13 my feet & ankle condition worsened and I began living in chronic pain. Guys, never assume you know how much pain someone is in, people can hide it well. However, after going through 6 exemplary surgeons who literally had no idea how to fix my feet & ankles, I was loosing hope. I went through depression, chronic pain, and panic attacks at night at only 14 years old. And through all of this, I told NO ONE about the depression & panic attacks. To make it worse, everyone I knew still believed I was that girl w/ the perfect life. No one even realized how much physical pain I was truly in either. It was living hell. I almost self harmed many times. My thought process was that maybe if I caused myself the pain, it would be easier to accept the pain I couldn’t control. All I wanted was to be able to just WALK or be able to sleep without pain and feeling like I had to hide and pretend to be fine all the time. Thankfully, I have an amazing Savior, He was able to strengthen me and teach me a lot during this time of darkness. Although it was difficult, I had to completely surrender to & trust God.
Multiple surgeries enabled me to walk again without chronic pain, however it was ultimately God who healed it all. I can honestly say that without my faith in Jesus, I wouldn’t be walking, or probably even alive. I continually praise God! For I can now sing “It is well with my soul” & truly mean it. That right there is the best feeling ever. One of the many verses that helped me through this time was Isaiah 66:9 “In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” says the LORD. “If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation,” says your God.” It was a great reminder that even if I was suffering in the moment, God wouldn’t bring me this far and not deliver me. There was a reason for all of this, I might never know what it was, however, I am okay with that because God is in control.
I am only 16, however I plan on being in youth ministry & pray that I can impact the lives of others and show them the love of Christ. Although we might not understand why we go through things, I can confidently say that with God, even the worst darkness can be turned into light.
Here are some other verses/quotes that made a huge impact on me during this time:
John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Job 6:10 “At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-17 “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!”
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” -C.S. Lewis
”Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, Not even our troubles.” -Charlie Chaplin
Habakkuk 3:19 “The Lord God is my strength, my bravery. He will walk me through places of trouble and suffering”
James 1:12 “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
”Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly.” -Anonymous
One of my favorite poets is Erin Hanson and these are two of her poems that helped me. It wasn’t until way after my surgeries and recover that I told people about what had gone on. But guys, not telling someone was the worst mistake I made. Please, if you are dealing with anything, tell someone.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope it was able to help someone. 💜 -Maddie